Local Startup Founder Suddenly Realizes Co-Founder Who Claimed To Be 'Technical Genius’ Actually Just Sucks

By Tobias Renn

SAN FRANCISCO — Tech entrepreneur Jake Morrison, 29, reported Monday that he has come to the shocking realization that his business partner and co-founder Derek Chen, who has spent the last two years describing himself as a "10x engineer" and "full-stack wizard," apparently cannot perform basic coding tasks and may have been lying about his technical abilities this entire time.

The revelation comes after Chen, who holds the title of Chief Technology Officer despite the company having only four employees total, has consistently deflected all programming requests over the past 18 months by citing "architectural concerns," "scalability issues," and the need to "refactor the entire codebase for optimal performance."