Area Founder Spends 14 Hours This Week Planning Podcast That Will Definitely Launch "Once Things Slow Down"

Crash Windward

16 Sep 2025 — 1 min read

DENVER, CO — Local startup founder David Park has reportedly devoted significant mental bandwidth this week to conceptualizing his future podcast empire, meticulously planning everything from potential guest lists to merchandise designs for a show that he admits will probably start "sometime after we close Series A and the team stops being so needy."

The podcast, tentatively titled "Disrupting the Disruption" or possibly "Bootstrap to Billions" depending on Park's mood that day, exists primarily as 47 voice memos on his iPhone and a shared Google Doc with himself containing phrases like "authentic conversations with game-changers" and "raw, unfiltered insights from the trenches."

Area Founder Begins Every Email With "Hope All Is Well" Despite Mounting Evidence to Contrary

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Local startup founder Marcus Chen has reportedly begun opening all business correspondence with the phrase "Hope all is well" this week, a linguistic choice that colleagues describe as "increasingly concerning" given his company's current financial situation and the fact that his

AI Company Hires Its First Human Employee After Mounting Political Pressure

PALO ALTO, CA — Following months of congressional hearings and public outcry over workforce diversity, leading AI company NeuroMax Industries announced Tuesday that it has hired its first human employee, 34-year-old Joe Matherson of Sunnyvale, California. "We're thrilled to welcome Joe to our all-artificial team," said NeuroMax

Area Founder Gets LinkedIn Request From Potential Acquirer

CLEVELAND, OH — Local tech entrepreneur Marcus Whitfield reportedly spent 47 minutes crafting the perfect "thanks for connecting" message after receiving a LinkedIn request from someone whose bio mentioned "M&A Advisory" and "Strategic Partnerships," sources close to the increasingly desperate founder confirmed Tuesday.

Area Founder Does Product Demo, Product Inexplicably Functions as Intended for First Time in Company History

AUSTIN, TX — In what industry experts are calling a "statistical impossibility," local startup founder Derek Holloway successfully demonstrated his company's AI-powered scheduling assistant to potential investors yesterday without the software crashing, generating racist poetry, or attempting to order 40,000 bananas from a Korean grocery delivery

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Area Founder Begins Every Email With "Hope All Is Well" Despite Mounting Evidence to Contrary

AI Company Hires Its First Human Employee After Mounting Political Pressure

Area Founder Gets LinkedIn Request From Potential Acquirer

Area Founder Does Product Demo, Product Inexplicably Functions as Intended for First Time in Company History